Too good?

Yes too good to need any improvement.

I have realized, that there are more fellows, that live in that belief. It is often amazing to see, how much more better they are, how better all they do is, and how little they need to take others into account. It is amazing to see all that sufficience and believe me or not I ENVY you guys.

It seems like living a life of carefulness, in which you take everyone into consideration, think twice before any movement is just a parkour? You keep on living in fear of hurting others feelings and susceptibilities. Whenever you then take action, you turn back 1000 of times and wonder if there is anyone there, that might have taken damage of this: eternal regard to the rear, isn’t it a huge obstacle against moving FORWARD?

I meditate often and I am now asking that power over there to give me the peace and the strength to start believing that I am some few times doing good and by doing so, just keep on moving forward, and not always turning back to like repair the damages done by my ? steps? 🙂

As I cannot fly, it is of huge importance for Mrs Nadia to start understanding that steps leaves marks which is totally OK 🙂 Why not just get along with it lilla deg. Reach out for more confidence in the softness of your path girl 🙂

Of course I have to be the change I want to see in the world, but sole responsible no: as long as we interact, we share the responsability. Keep on moving carefuly but move on 😀

Not too good to be able to improve, definitely not: able to strech out for a better Nadia always.

Random …

I heard an amazing song today: loved it and share it.

Have a blessed evening and night. Working night 6/6 then just have to take a deep breath and a little break 🙂

One more step… God give me the strenght. AMEN

SjälensOAS

If you read this post SHOW RESPECT, otherwise I might hate you the rest of my life. Blogging is like writing a secret in the cyber. A good blogger reads others bloggs, and show respect for their privacy if it is possible to speak about privacy when blogging

I have always been so exposed and I am sorry if this is unappreciated by some of you. It takes long time to come here but now I am here and tonight I am going to give you a little GENUIN piece of Nadia.

It is so painfull to miscommunicate sometimes, especially when you really did not mean to send the message that you then realised you did? I have done it a couple of time and believe me it is then even impossible to say SORRY: how can you say sorry when you just have burned all bridges you used ages and years to build? They are then burned and nothing can get them back than building up new ones.

I have come to that point in life where I can indeed be so modest, that I accept it with humility, when I get a strech. Saying / doing things that hurts poeple that means a lot to me just tear my heart apart and however sorry I might feel, I will never manage forgiving myself for acting so careless. I am a stupid girl many time and I am sorry for that.

Coming then to my selfconfidence: it is a long story. I have not always been able to give myself a hand. I am the first born of 6 children and have often got lots of blaming, when things did not went right home. I have had a father that just had exigences toward us and my life as a girl in Cameroon has not been that easy all the time. I have experienced pain, violence and got treated as nonhuman being. I have got used to be the one that has to go, and I have given away things and poeple that meaned ALL to me. In result I have had a BAD relationship to Nadia. I have never respected her and really put her in embarassing situations. After so many years now, I have started loving her, and realising that she is a great value… It is regrettable to then see that I have become totally egoistic and self focused… It is not necessary to be so: if I now know my value, I then have to get along with humility and don’t turn into a bitch that no one wants to deal with: So sorry about that fact that I now need to take a step or two backwards and say SORRY for being so rude

Mea maxima Culpa

It is not so difficult for me to say SORRY , not: I mean it 😉